We have seen movies in which South Indian marries a North Indian. But, have you ever wondered how will it be in real life. As this is not so easy as to how we see in movies.
It takes lots of self-sacrifices. From understanding each other’s languages. To adjusting to various cultures. And important of all, convincing parents.
Are real life intercultural marriages exactly same as to how it’s portrayed in the movies?
Let us see what people on Quora has to say about it.
1) Being impersonal is really helpful.
“Two of my Chennai friends have married Punjabi girls and the marriages have worked out. One of the guys was pitch black and both girls were Sikhs and extremely fair. I don’t know any Tamil guy marrying UP girl, but some Punjabi girls are more broadminded and like educated Tamil guys.”
2) The contradiction for food.
“My mother is from Punjab and my father is from Andhra Pradesh. They have been married for about 25 years now. The only divide I have seen is whether my grandmother’s dosas and vadas taste better or my mother’s shahi paneer.”
3) The differences in opinion in beginning.
“I think there will be a little chaos if such a relationship occurs. Punjabi family will be chilled, they don’t care about the community of the girl, they only judge the girl by her character. If she is humble and polite, they will never say no. But South Indian family may say no.”
4) The melting pot of cultures
“I am an Iyer (a Tamil Brahmin) and my sister recently got married to a punjabi. The starking differences being the marriage customs itself. A pallu on the head means tradition for them
But on the other side pallu on the head symbolizes widows. Which fortunately was taken quite humorously by both sides. The oldies on their side was stunned to see that my sister was ‘fairer’ unlike Madrasis. Which was also gulped down with a pill of humour. But at the end of the day we indeed have a happy love struck couple stepping on to start a new life , blessed by equally happy parents.” (sic)
5) It’s the relationship and understanding that matters.
“My sister got married earlier this year. My family is from Delhi, and the groom’s family is from Tamil Nadu. They met in college, and the fact that they were from opposite ends of the country was never a hindrance.
That is not to say that cultural differences do not exist between North and South Indians; they do, but the functioning of their relationship is irrelevant of the states they belong to. It’s all about the chemistry, and that is the way it should be.”
6) When things are not working out. Be prepared for the worse.
“One of my friend (south indian Brahmin) got married to a north indian Brahmin girl (love marriage). It’s been just 3 yrs. Their divorce case is in court. He told us his wife treat him and his family members as slave…Tho’ he and his family is financially sound and rich. Moreover He is a central govt employee. It’s horrible.”
7) Intercultural marriages are tagged along with few teething troubles.
“Things have changed a lot. I personally know two of my friends – one from Gujrat and other from Karnataka – who recently got married. I think you can expect some minor hassles with different customs, languages etc. Other than that, you should not have any problems.”
8) After all, it’s love that comes first.
“I’m a Tam dating a North Indian. I have met his family, we are planning to get married soon.I adore him as he tries speaking Tamil to interact better with my family, he gets excited about the south Indian dishes I cook, watches Tamil movies with me, listens to Tamil music, appreciates it and all this without me asking for any.
I love the fact that we as cultures have many similarities and contradictions, on which we have hour-long healthy discussions, in a pursuit to understand these better. This has definitely made us nonjudgmental, more accepting individuals, and also unlearn the stereotypes.
Our relationship is strong and beautiful as we understand our differences and appreciate them. Fortunately we never had adjust-mental issues. We don’t force anything on each other, instead we both are open to experiments.
We both believe, to be in a relationship you just need two individuals determined to be together regardless of whatever happens, accepting and appreciating their differences with immense love and trust.
P.s- Yet I enjoy that he never understands my Tamil swearwords! (neither am I gonna teach him ever)”
It is not always easy. But being limitless in everything you do is what makes life interesting. And if you decide this person is the best, then be firm. As love has no limits.
Life is all about Live, Laugh and Love.